Nonprofit AF

Exploring the fun and frustrations of nonprofit work

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Time to re-open that can of whoop-ass on injustice, you brilliant and talented nonprofit genius!

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[Image description: A very happy and very fluffy puppy. I don’t know my dog breeds very well. What is this little one, a pomeranian? In any case, they have white fur with a light brown face and look so fluffy you just want to snuggle them forever. Pixabay.com]

Hi everyone. For many of you, this is your first day back after a hopefully long break, and for others of you, you’ve been working these past few days and are trying really hard not to strangle the people who did get time off. It’s a rough day for all of us.

I know you’re probably feeling down in the dumps and just want to crawl back into bed, where The Mandalorian or The Expanse or The Golden Girls is waiting. You’re probably nursing your coffee, dreading the thoughts of checking the rest of your email inbox. You shudder looking at your to-do list. You feel a pang of guilt for not having done things that should have been done before break. At least one of your plants is likely dead. And WTF is that weird smell?!

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A sample annual appeal letter, if nonprofits were brutally honest with donors

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[ Hi everyone, this is the last post of this calendar year. NAF will take a short break and will return with a feisty article on January 6th, 2020. Happy holidays! ]

[Image description: A blank white sheet of paper on some untreated wood planks, with various round gold ornaments and green pine branches surrounding it. The top right corner of the paper is covered with a smiling cartoony angel ornament, while the bottom left corner has a gold bow and a red bow, the kind one puts on presents. Pixabay.com]

Dear John,

As the year winds down, I know you are getting inundated with appeal letters from dozens of nonprofits. This letter is one of them. Just like other missions, we are writing to ask you to give money so we can keep vital programs and services running. And don’t worry, despite all those memes floating around about nonprofits spending 94 cents of every dollar on luxury cars and unicorn steaks or whatever, the money you donate is being put to good use. By being spent on staff, who do all of the work, along with critical things like office rent, utilities, etc. Your support makes it all possible.

Let me insert a story designed to affect you emotionally. Our program director Katie had terrible dental pains caused by her wisdom teeth, but we could not afford to give staff health insurance AND dental insurance. For months, she just carried on, but it really affected the program. The kids we serve could not understand what she was saying due to all the agonized mumbling. It made consoling them when ICE raided their parents’ workplaces a little more challenging. But thanks to donors like you last year, we were able to upgrade our healthcare from Copper to Copper Plus, which includes dental! Katie was finally able to get her wisdom teeth removed (with a $12,000 deductible that she can pay off gradually with interest)! The afterschool program is stronger than ever!

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8 nonprofit-themed cocktail recipes to brighten up your holiday party

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[Image description: Six hands holding up various colorful cocktails together, clinking glasses. I hope those straws are compostable. Pixabay.com]

Hi everyone! It’s the holiday season, which means many of you are hosting parties. Spruce up your gatherings with these cocktails below and prepare to wow your colleagues*. Also check out parts 1 and 2 of this series, “Nonprofit Cocktail Recipes” and “9 Nonprofit-Inspired Cocktail Recipes for Your Holiday Party.” Share your own recipes in the comment section, or on Twitter using #NonprofitThemedCocktails. (*Please consult with your doctor and/or a mixologist before implementing these recipes below).

1. The Founder Syndrome

2 oz absinthe

1 oz chilled grapefruit juice

4 oz cold water

1 sugar cube

Splash of Peychaud’s (or Angostura’s or whatever bitters you have lying around)

Set absinthe spoon (or a fork) over a cocktail glass. Place the sugar cube on top of spoon or fork. Pour absinthe onto the sugar cube and into the glass. Set the sugar cube on fire. Wait 10 seconds or until flame goes out. Slowly drip cold water onto the sugar cube until it is dissolved. Add the rest of the water, along with grapefruit juice and splash of Peychaud’s. Was once on fire; can be great in small doses at the right time, but otherwise overwhelming and bitter.

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Why Impact-Per-Dollar is a terrible, harmful way to measure nonprofit effectiveness

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[Image description: A fluffy brown baby highland cow, with shaggy fur over their eyes. They are adorable and have nothing to do with this post. Someone just told me to look up baby highland cows and I did and found them to be so cute! This picture is from Pixabay.com, but look up “baby highland cow” on Google Images for more cuteness.”

Hi everyone. I hope you had a relaxing Thanksgiving break (if you’re in the US). I know it’s hard to get back to work after a long weekend, which is why I am here in bed eating leftover mashed potatoes and listening to early-90s Hip Hop. Just remember, though, that your work makes a difference (Read “Welcome back to work, you sexy Jedi unicorn,” if you need a quick pick-me-up)

Unfortunately, however, the difference you are making is complex, which means it is challenging to measure. And this explains the crappy metrics of effectiveness our sector has been subjected to. Chief among them, of course, is overhead rate, one of the most insipid and destructive zombie concepts ever unleashed on nonprofits, as I and others have written about repeatedly (See: “How to deal with uninformed nonprofit watchdogs around the holidays.”)

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Thankful for nonprofits—as vital, invisible, and underappreciated as air

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[Image description: Golden sunlight streaming through a forest of pine trees. Pixabay.com. By the way, someone told me they didn’t understand why I write these image descriptions. It is not just for fun. Image descriptions help people who have vision impairment. Read more here.]

Hi everyone. This week is Thanksgiving in the US, a holiday revolving around food and spending time with the people closest to us, the people we love despite their continuing to have no understanding of what we do. It’s capacity building, Dad, holistic organizational capacity building combined with equitable leadership development, I’ve told you a hundred times, gaw!

Thanksgiving forces us to reflect on what we are grateful for, the people and things we often take for granted, and this should include the fact that we are on, and benefit from, stolen Native land. Take a moment to read this article, “This Thanksgiving, Educate Your Family About Native History and Culture.”

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