Navigating the guilt of finding joy when the world feels like crap

[Image description: A seedling, with two leaves, growing out of the dirt. Image by EglantineShala on Pixabay]

Hi everyone, I spent the past three days working on one chapter of my new book, tentatively called “Catchy Phrase: Insert Intriguing Subtitle Here.” It’s about reimagining everything in our sector, from how we fundraise, to how we do capacity building and evaluation and hiring, and so on. An entire chapter may be devoted to the role of hummus in our work (just kidding, there will not be). The publisher has been on my case, setting up several intermediate deadlines, which is good, because left to my own devices, I will binge-watch Derry Girls for the eight time.

Anyway, I have been frazzled, so please don’t expect a coherent post this week. Actually, it’s best to anticipate that as the manuscript deadline (March 11th) approaches, I will become more and more unraveled, eventually going full “Jack Nicholson in The Shining,” and these blog posts will become increasingly nonsensical, possibly unhinged. Or worse, I will start reusing jokes, like this The Shining one, not remembering what’s in my head, and what’s already been put down in writing somewhere.

Last Fall, my siblings and kids and I had a pumpkin-carving contest at home. That was super fun. We placed them all outside on the front porch. As the days passed though, the pumpkins started rotting. Too lazy to throw them into the compost bin, I chucked the three moldy abominations into the flower bed, where they became a feast for the neighborhood rodents.

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The WRONG lessons we’ve been learning from this political nightmare, and the RIGHT ones we should learn instead

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Hi everyone, a couple of things before we get started. If you’re free on next Tuesday December 3rd at 1pm Pacific and are interested in learning about shared leadership, check out this free webinar by the National Center to Advance Peace for Children, Youth, and Families. There will be Spanish and ASL interpreters.

Also, I’m on BlueSky now at @nonprofitaf.bsky.social. It’s like Twitter, when Twitter was fun and not awful. I encourage everyone to migrate there. We could use more fun and community as we organize the resistance.

I know many of us are still down in the dumps about the election and the future. I’ve been trying to keep calm and rest for the coming battles, but I’ve also been giving myself permission to delight in pettiness. Thanks to colleague Esther Saehyun Lee, I learned about a subreddit called r/LeopardsAteMyFace, which documents those who voted for a certain political party now personally experiencing the negative consequences of their votes.

Schadenfreude aside, we have a long four years ahead of us. On some days, I am optimistic this period of turmoil will ultimately lead to a collective awakening, where the pendulum swings back towards kindness, science, community, and significant social progress. It has happened in the past, where some of humanity’s worst moments are followed by incredible shifts for the better. Maybe many of us won’t benefit from the turnaround, but our kids and grandkids will. That’s something to hope for.

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Urgent actions to take this week to stop a bill giving Trump unchecked power to destroy nonprofits

[Image description: Signs at a protest. They include “IMMIGRANTS make America GREAT” and “NO HATE NO FEAR. Refugees are welcome here.” Image by StockSnap on Pixabay]

The Trump administration has already started attacking nonprofits, two months before they’re even in office. You may have heard of the bill (H.R. 9495) that would allow the government to terminate the tax-exempt status of nonprofits by giving the Secretary of Treasury the authority to designate any org a “terrorist-supporting organization.”

H.R. 9495, if it passes, is an effective way to neutralize nonprofits that take any actions to protest against the incoming government’s horrific agenda, which we know so far includes fast-tracking genocide, gutting social security, removing the citizenship of and deporting immigrants, shuttering the department of education, and banning abortions nationwide.

Shutting down nonprofits that protest against injustice by marking them as supporting terrorism is a violation of the First Amendment and a glimpse into the incoming administration’s fascist intentions. The bill was put to a vote last week and did not pass. But they are trying again. This WEDNESDAY* (Nov 20) morning, it will go to a full house vote, and just needs a simple majority to pass, unlike last week, when they needed a 2/3 majority. (*originally it was Thursday Nov 21)

WE MUST ALL TAKE ACTION! Here are some things you can do immediately. Please rally everyone in your networks. This bill poses a grave existential threat to our sector, and is a terrifying vision of the future if we don’t do everything we can to prevent it.

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We must move from despair to righteous anger

[Image description: A dandelion clock (seed head), with a flame behind it, on black background. Image by Gjata Ervin on Pixabay]

Hi everyone, I’ve been reeling the past several days after the elections, as I’m sure many of you have been and still are. I found myself unmotivated and uninspired, dealing with waves of dread and anxiety. Luckily, the those waves were often beaten back by even bigger waves of fear and despair! Sorry, maybe now is not the time to joke around. Or maybe it is; I don’t know. I’m still a jumble of thoughts and emotions and stress eating, so thank you for your patience, as it might take me a while to get back to my usual self.

I do say though, that the past week reaffirmed to me how amazing community is. I am lucky to be surrounded by so many incredible people. Dozens of friends and colleagues reached out, checking in on me, the ones in Seattle getting me off the couch, reminding me that we’re not alone, and that the world is still full of good people.

Thanks to you, I am moving out of despair…and into anger. Righteous anger. The kind that Desmond Tutu described here:

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You are not alone in this endless waking nightmare

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Hi everyone, I am sick to my soul. I write to process my feelings, but I am not sure how coherent I will be. Once again, our racist and misogynistic country proves just how racist and misogynistic it is. It revels in cruelty and ignorance, electing a convicted felon, rapist, and insurrectionist into power despite the breathtaking level of harm he did the last time, wiping out generations’ worth of progress.

I do not have easy platitudes for you. I can only share your grief and fear and despair at the horrors that are to come. I am as heartbroken as many of you are. I am enraged. Not just at those who voted for fascism and authoritarian rule, but for our own incumbent leaders, who swung moderate and courted conservatives and who voted again and again to support and fund genocide, knowing it would cost them needed votes. 

This morning, I drove my kids to school, wondering what sort of future awaits them. What sort of future awaits us all, especially our community members who are of color, trans, disabled, gay, immigrants, poor, elderly, homeless, and others already bearing the brunt of the cruelty of capitalism and white supremacy. Will there be a future for Palestinians, Congolese, Sudanese, Ukrainians, and other people whose fates rest on the whims of the US empire.

I don’t have many words to comfort you, but I will try, because that’s all any of us can do in this moment. We need to set aside time to grieve. Grieve for the inequities that brought us to this place. Grieve for the difficult road ahead. Grieve for the lives that will be lost because of the malice and vindictiveness that will shape the policies our communities must further endure. Grieve at what could have been, the hope and optimism and the brighter reality we could have had. 

Let’s give ourselves the time and grace to feel the rage and sadness and pain. But let’s remind ourselves that we are not alone during these times of collective despair. We who believe in a just and equitable world have each other. Reach out and check in with the people you care about. Check in with your team. Create space to be together. During these times, it is always community that saves us. 

If you are up for it—and it’s OK if you’re not—here are some resources from various colleagues. I find them helpful and grounding. 

This piece from my friend, composer Byron Au Yong. It contains a moving song “Survival Is Resistance,” from the Activist Songbook, with a powerful message from communities that have endured horrendous injustice and still found strength and hope, because, as we know, this is not the first time humanity has chosen violence and oppression:

 “Resistance is the crater of the bomb we turn into a pond to fish in, the old clothes and songs our broken hearts are stitched in when we see our new home in the distance, because our survival is resistance.”

Here’s a poem that I turn to often in times of despair: “We Were Made for These Timesby Clarissa Pinkola Estes. Here’s an excerpt:

“You are right in your assessments. The lustre and hubris some have aspired to while endorsing acts so heinous against children, elders, everyday people, the poor, the unguarded, the helpless, is breathtaking. Yet, I urge you, ask you, gentle you, to please not spend your spirit dry by bewailing these difficult times. Especially do not lose hope. Most particularly because, the fact is that we were made for these times. Yes. For years, we have been learning, practicing, been in training for and just waiting to meet on this exact plain of engagement.”

Here, meanwhile, are 10 ways to be prepared and grounded now that Trump has won, with practical advice on what we must do now:

“The key to taking effective action in a Trump world is to avoid perpetuating the autocrat’s goals of fear, isolation, exhaustion and disorientation.”

I’m going to give myself time to grieve and despair. But I also did not go into the line of work of fighting injustice thinking that it would always be easy. We knew this work would be hard. And while it seems insurmountable, there is hope as long as we don’t give up on one another and what we can achieve together. My friend Chris Talbot-Heindl reminds me of Grace Lee Boggs’s quote: 

“Every crisis, actual or impending, needs to be viewed as an opportunity to bring about profound changes in our society. Going beyond protest organizing, visionary organizing begins by creating images and stories of the future that help us imagine and create alternatives to the existing system.”

Let us channel the courage and strength of civil rights leaders in the past, who faced similar, if not oftentimes significantly more difficult challenges. We honor them and their work by taking care of one another, building community, and continuing to fight for the world we know is possible. 

Please take care of yourself. And know you are not alone. I am with you.