nonprofit humor

9 grammatical mistakes you need to stop making before I throw live scorpions at you

Posted on July 25, 2016 by Vu

Hi everyone. I was writing a post on the new federal overtime law and how it will affect our sector, when I realized that I needed more time to think about it. Plus, we’ve had a string of posts on serious topics these past few weeks, and I need to give my brain a rest. So that post will appear next Monday. Today, I want to rant about grammar/punctuation/diction.

All of us are highly intelligent, charming, and attractive people (#OxfordCommaForever!) Still, we are not immune to making errors in our speech and writing. Errors such as “I was literally on fire during that evaluation presentation.” Or saying things like, “Between you and I, our equity plan sucks.” (Both are wrong. See “This literally makes my head explode” and “8 grammatical mistakes even smart and sexy people like you are making.”)Continue reading →

We need to stop treating nonprofits the way society treats poor people

Posted on July 18, 2016 by Vu

During a drink with one of my favorite program officers, I brought up some feedback about how onerous their grant reporting process was. Even though the foundation is really flexible on how the funds can be used, they still ask for exactly how much of each line item the foundation pays for. And their line items don’t line up with ours, so we have to spend significant time translating our budget into theirs. And once the report is submitted, it affects what we report to other foundations, leading to a funding Sudoku that wastes endless hours of my and my team’s time.

Her response, half-joking and half-serious, was “When you entered the sector, what were you expecting, cake and ice cream?” At that moment, all I wanted to do was weep quietly into my raspberry mojito while Foreigner songs play in my head: “In my liiiiife, there’s been heartache and pain. I don’t knooow, if I can faaaaaaace it again…”Continue reading →

Basing pay on salary history is a harmful, borderline-unethical practice that we need to abolish

Posted on July 5, 2016 by Vu

Hi everyone, Game of Thrones is done for the year, so I am slightly down, so this post may be a little cranky. I was surfing the Nonprofit Happy Hour Facebook group (which you should totally join, because it’s full of brilliant and hilarious people), and saw that a colleague had asked for advice on how to respond to an online job application that asks for her salary history: “I’m worried I will be shortchanged on my pay because my ‘salary’ has been low, but I have actually provided MUCH more value to my org than that.”

I wrote about this practice of asking for salary history a while ago in “When you don’t disclose salary range on job postings, a unicorn loses its wings.” I believe the practice is archaic and irritating, like codpieces and, in a few years, skinny jeans. Leaders such as the brilliant Alison Green of Ask a Manager also think salary history is ridiculous:

Employers who do this generally claim that they need to know what you’ve earned in the past because it helps them figure out how much you should be earning with them, or so that they can screen out candidates who are earning way more than the position pays and presumably won’t want to take a pay cut. But neither of these reasons holds water. First, companies should be able to determine a candidate’s value for themselves; they don’t need to look to their competitors to tell them a candidate’s worth (and if they really do need to, their hiring process is pretty messed up). And second, if they’re concerned that you’ll be unhappy with the salary they’re offering, they can solve that by posting their range up-front or ask you about your salary expectations rather than salary history. So it’s BS, and it’s BS that’s designed to give them the upper hand in salary negotiations.

After thinking about it these past few months, I’m going further to make the argument that asking for salary history is not just annoying, but actually borders on UNETHICAL and all of us need to put a stop to it immediately. Here are some reasons why all of need to agree to drop this harmful practice:Continue reading →

Meta-Equity and the irony of inequity around Equity work

Posted on June 27, 2016 by Vu

Hi everyone, before we begin today’s post, look: Get a Beer and Undo Nonprofit Power Dynamics Day (#GABAUNPDD) on July 8th is actually happening. Thanks GEO for organizing an actual event! Please use this historic day to build stronger relationships between program officers, trustees, and nonprofits. I think many of our world’s problems can we solved quicker and more effectively if we get a beer together more often. This is going to be an annual thing. #GABAUNPDD #BestHashtagEver

***

One of my favorite words is “meta,” a prefix that allows something to be about or comprising itself. For example, meta-writing could be writing about the process or benefits of writing. Meta-film-making might be making a film about film-making. A meta-presentation is a presentation about how to make effective presentations. It works for everything. We might want to have a meta-meeting to talk about how to make meetings more effective. And we should make a meta-hummus, which is a delicious hummus that is made out of leftover dollops of other hummi. Try to use meta at your next meeting; it’ll make you sound really smart: “Can we do a meta-financial-analysis? I think we’re spending too much money on our financial reviews.”

So today, let’s talk about meta-Equity—the equity around Equity. I have really appreciated that everyone has been paying more attention to Equity, having thoughtful discussions led by qualified trainers, and incorporating Equity into grantmaking, hiring, and other practices (#OxfordCommaForever!). Hell, maybe Equity won’t just be another fad like coconut water, but will actually stick around and become a timeless beverage that will nourish us all, like tequila.Continue reading →

Hey tech people, stop thinking only you can save the world

Posted on June 6, 2016 by Vu

Human beings are amazing. Our achievements in various fields throughout history, when we are not busy fighting one another, are breathtaking. Our achievements in technology are things our grandparents, and even ourselves, may have never dreamed about. Soon, most of us will be using an app to get fuel delivered to our cars, until we invent a car that runs on water or the omnipresent energy of the universe or whatever, we’ll travel long distances by Hyperloop, and our phones can be charged wirelessly from anywhere by having packets of electricity beamed from satellite. My partner and I just hooked up a smart light switch in our kitchen and can control the light from anywhere using our phones. I’ve been using this technology to scare my toddler into eating his veggies: “If you don’t finish your carrots, the Light Monster will get so angry…”

With technology having such a huge presence in our lives and work, it has become tempting to see it as the solution to all our problems. Every once a while, I start daydreaming about inventing an app, one that would be so successful that it would generate enough income for my organization so that I don’t have to wake up in cold sweat once or twice a month screaming, “Cashflow! Oh God, our cashflow!” Maybe a Tinder-like app, called Fundr, that allows organizations and foundations to quickly and mutually choose one another (“Hm, has leadership development as a priority, focuses on equity, program officer looks friendly. Wait, doesn’t like to pay for staffing? Cute, but obviously clueless. Swipe left.”)

Continue reading →