7 agreements for productive conversations during difficult times

tied-up-1792237_1280Hi everyone. It’s been a really rough week for many of us due to the election results. For me, I also had an 8-month-old baby who was sick and who stayed up all night for three nights crying and projectile-vomiting on everything. It was seriously like The Exorcist. But cuter. Luckily, just when things were getting bleak…my wife also got sick with fever, chills, and other less pleasant symptoms. During one of these sleepless nights, I hallucinated that the election results weren’t the way they were, and we all woke up to a bright and sunny morning where the world is the way we hope it would be, and everyone is happy and inclusive, and my favorite brand of soy ice cream is on sale. And I have six-pack abs.

Unfortunately, that is not our reality. Many of us in the sector are still going through the stages of denial, anger, and sadness. Everyone is on edge, and it’s been manifesting in various ways. Luckily, I’ve been seeing an increase of support and community, with many colleagues checking in with one another, validating feelings, and creating space to process.

Unfortunately, I’ve also been seeing an increase in hurtful and divisive interactions between colleagues who are on the same side. Normally collegial conversations become heated. People become defensive and accusatory. Emotions are intense. I’m not immune to it myself. I got feedback from a colleague that my post last Wednesday was uninspiring and possibly even making things worse. And I thought, “WTF! Oh hell no you didn’t just email me that! Someone hold my sick baby!” Continue reading “7 agreements for productive conversations during difficult times”

Disbelief, disappointment, and fear, and why our work is more important than ever

Hi everyone. I usually don’t post except on Mondays, but I can’t sleep right now and I need to process the feelings of disbelief, disappointment, and fear that are swirling. I know just this week I said that things will be OK, that the Apocalypse is not coming, that no matter who is elected president, we will continue to do our work to build a stronger community. But I can’t feel those words right now. I just feel awful. And I don’t know how helpful or even coherent this post will be.

How did this happen? How did we get here? I am in a state of bewilderment. This is mixed with sadness and a profound sense of loss and grief. I know many of you are feeling the same way. We as a sector fight on the side of justice and inclusion. We are all invested in the kind of ideal world we want to build—many of us dedicate our lives to it—and because of that we feel things more deeply. To see our nation choose walls, divisiveness, xenophobia, sexism, and demagoguery over love, hope, diversity, and community is devastating. Continue reading “Disbelief, disappointment, and fear, and why our work is more important than ever”

Hey you amazing unicorns, we’re going to be OK (despite this election)

dog-617041_1280My friends in the nonprofit sector. This has been a brutal, divisive, ugly, bitter election cycle, and I’m glad it is ending. If you are like me, you can’t focus on anything, since the Apocalypse may be coming this week. You are probably checking the news obsessively, alternately hopeful and distraught, depending on the headlines. Seeing the word “email” anywhere instantly raises your blood pressure. You may be wishing you had a nice cabin somewhere off the grid, near a stream, away from civilization, where you and your family can grow plants and gather mushrooms and berries and use solar panels to generate your own electricity. A cabin away from polls and tweets and television ads and pundits. But with satellite access so you can get Netflix. Also, maybe a microwave. And, like, a flushing toilet. Continue reading “Hey you amazing unicorns, we’re going to be OK (despite this election)”

24 quotes by famous people if they had worked in nonprofit

buddha-1281049_1280Hi everyone. I’ve been stressed by the elections, so couldn’t focus on a serious post.  So here are some #awesomenonprofitquotes by famous people if they had worked in nonprofit.  Happy Monday!

I think a lot of these people missed their calling.

  1. “When they go low, we go why the heck do we keep having silent auctions?” Michelle Obama.
  2. “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only bylaws with term limits can do that.” MLK Jr.

Continue reading “24 quotes by famous people if they had worked in nonprofit”

Trust-based grantmaking: What it is, and why it’s critical to our sector

ducklingThe Walking Dead is back on TV. After last season’s finale, and this season’s opener, I am not sure I will continue watching. But zombies do make me think of funding dynamics, so that’s why I am bringing it up. In The Walking Dead, the zombies are scary, but they are the least dangerous. Zombies eat brains; they don’t have brains; they don’t have hidden motives and plans; you know exactly what a zombie will do. It’s the humans who are terrifying. Pushed into survival mode, they calculate, lie, betray, and refuse to use the Oxford Comma (#OxfordCommaForever). No one trusts anyone, and it’s more often than not that groups of humans end up killing one another before a zombie actually gets to munch on anyone’s flesh.

What does this have to do with funding dynamics? Well, there seems to be a pervasive lack of starting with trust between funders and nonprofits, and it’s affecting all of us and our abilities to survive and do our work. The default starting relationship between funders and nonprofits is one of suspicion of the latter by the former, which leads to funders enacting policies and practices designed to make nonprofits more “accountable,” such as restricted funding, individualized applications, bespoke budget forms, customized reports, and other things that drive us nonprofits nuts. This in turns leads to nonprofits’ hiding of information, especially about challenges, from funders, which in turn reinforces the suspicion. All this perpetuates a depressing cycle of waste of time and energy and lots of complaining, usually at bars, and all that could have been used to deliver programs and services.
Continue reading “Trust-based grantmaking: What it is, and why it’s critical to our sector”