• Home
  • About
  • BOOK!!
  • Contact/FAQ
  • Shop
  • Speaking
  • Support NAF!
  • Advertise
  • Report Crappy Funders

Nonprofit AF

Exploring the fun and frustrations of nonprofit work

NAF logo
NAF logo
  • Home
  • About
  • BOOK!!
  • Contact/FAQ
  • Shop
  • Speaking
  • Support NAF!
  • Advertise
  • Report Crappy Funders

Nonprofit pickup lines you can use this Valentine’s Day (and year-round)

Posted on February 13, 2023 by Vu

[Image description: A bunch of paper hearts in red, pink, and white, and in various sizes, scattered on a white rug and wooden floor. Image by Element5 Digital on Unsplash]

Hi everyone, a couple of things before we get started. On March 14th, 9:30am Pacific Time, I’ll be moderating a conversation on Artificial Intelligence and what it means for our sector, in partnership with Beth Kanter, Allison Fine, and Philip Deng. It’s free. There will be automatic captions. Register here.

Also, this week, on Valentine’s Day at 10am PT, I’ll be having a 5-year reunion with the co-authors of Unicorns Unite: How Nonprofits and Foundations Can Build EPIC Partnerships, to discuss what we learned. Also free and will have captions. Hope to see you there.

Speaking of Valentine’s Day, for the past few years we’ve been having lots of fun on Twitter with the hashtag #NonprofitPickupLines. As Twitter is becoming less and less stable, I thought we should capture some of the contributions for posterity. If you have a crush in the sector and don’t know how to make your move, give these lines a try:

  1. “Hey there, do you look this good year round? ‘Cause you’ve got annual appeal.” MA Nonprofit Network (@MA_NonprofitNet)
  2. “I think we’re a perfect match (up to $25,000).”—Adam Stewart (@RAdamStewart)
  3. “Did you forget to file your form 990? Cause you got FINE written all over you.”—Margaret Waldock (@MargaretWaldock)
  4. “My, what a large endowment you have.” –Marc Pitman (@marcapitman)
  5. “Want to Netflix and review the budget?”—Blayr (@BlayrAustin)
  6. “Girl, are you a DM fundraising pack? Because you’ve got some seriously tangible asks and a strong call to action.”—Ben Stephens (@Stephens_Ben)
  7. “I’ll show you my indirect costs if you show me yours.”—Linda Czipo (@LindaCzipo)
  8. “Want to see my matching gift?”—Dave Tinker (@davethecfre)
  9. “Are you a recurring donor? ‘Cause you’ve been running through my mind every month.”—Dawn Stever (@DawnAM03)
  10. “I hear you’re looking for a nonprofit with benefits.”—Peter Beyer (@tmanwtglasses)
  11. “I’ll scribe while you facilitate.”—Natalie Self (@nataliemself)
  12. “I’d like to cultivate our relationship.”—andygallschmitt (@andygallschmitt)
  13. “What’s a nice nonprofit like you doing in an economy like this?”—Culture? Culture is whatever we make of it (@Ctr4ANewCulture)
  14. “If my love for you were a donation, it’d be 100% unrestricted, baby.”—Mandi Marie (@mandilindner)
  15. “Shut up. Just shut up. You had me at long-term volunteer.” —Jocelyn Fish (@Joycelyn_Fish)
  16. “I’m a big fan of direct males.”—Lilian Rose (@tweetsfromlily)
  17. “You look like you know how to press all the right Donate Now buttons.” —Yoda, CFRJ (@FundraisingYoda)
  18. “I hope I’m not rushing things, but you really seem like someone I could introduce to my board.” —Melissajonas (@melissaJonas)
  19. “What’s a nice organization like you doing at an 8am breakfast roundtable like this?” —Margaret Waldock (@MargaretWaldock)
  20. “Why don’t we theory of change into something a little more comfortable?” —Hannah Lidman (@SeaHannahSouth)
  21. “Hey girl…I’m 80% Lover, 20% administrative.” —Douglas Knight (DK) (@dknight44)
  22. Is that an oversized check for presentation purposes? Or are you just happy to see me?”—Liahann Bannerman (@liahann)
  23. “On a scale of 1-10, you’re a 990.”—Allison Carney (@ahcarney)
  24. “I’m submitting an Expression of Interest in you. Please respond back within 3 to 6 months.” —Rickesh Lakhani (@ConstantChanges)
  25. “Hey baby, are you a rich board member? Because you’ve got major gifts.”—SOKelley (@SPage831)
  26. “Can I take you out? I can’t pick you up or pay for you and we’re actually volunteering at my nonprofit’s gala.”—YNPN Seattle (@YNPNSeattle)
  27. “I like your retention rates. Want to try out your donor engagement tactics on me?”—Ashley C. Garcia (@AshCorrinn)
  28. “ALL my gifts are major gifts.”—FierceMomma she/her (@AnnBRosenfield)
  29. “Hey my name is Grants Portal. Can I crash at your place?”—Nan Ward (@consultNan)
  30. “Are you a reimbursement-based grant payment? Because I’ve been waiting for you forever.”—Vu Le (@nonprofitAF)

To see more pickup lines but delivered in my sexy vegan voice and trademark smolder, head over to Instagram. Apologies to everyone’s whose hilarious contributions were not included here!  

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Share this:

Posted in Humor 0 Comments

❮ Previous Post

20 new rules regarding handwritten thank-you notes we must all adopt immediately

Next Post ❯

10 condescending funding practices funders need to stop doing

Primary Sidebar

Grant Station Ad

Support NAF
FOLLOW NAF BY EMAIL. MAKE TUESDAYS SUCK LESS!
Enter your email address below and get notice of hilarious new posts each Tuesday morning. Unsubscribe at any time.

Random Posts

  • Toxic intellectualization: How progressives’ addiction to overthinking is sabotaging our work
  • You deserve a break, nonprofit Jedi Unicorn
  • Am I just preaching to the choir? Maybe
  • What is partisan? Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more
  • Trickle-Down Community Engagement, part 2: The infantilization of marginalized communities must stop

Share NAF

FOLLOW NAF BY EMAIL. MAKE TUESDAYS SUCK LESS!

Recent Posts

  • Instructions on not giving up: Let’s conserve our energy for the battles ahead
  • Brutally honest answers to 15 pointless questions our sector keeps asking itself
  • The Tide is Surging: The No King Protests and the Beginning of the End of Fascism in the US
  • Vu’s new book comes out on October 14th. Pre-order your copy today!
  • Funder-inflicted trauma and how it affects nonprofit leaders and our sector

Categories

  • AI (1)
  • Board Relations (32)
  • Capacity Building (31)
  • Community Engagement (79)
  • Community organizing (10)
  • Cultural Competency (46)
  • Data (7)
  • Donor Relations (48)
  • ED Life (86)
  • Finance (34)
  • Funder Relations (178)
  • funding (16)
  • Fundraising (211)
  • Grantwriting (118)
  • Hiring (6)
  • Humor (58)
  • leadership (86)
  • Marketing (6)
  • nonprofit (9)
  • nonprofit field (311)
  • Office Culture (82)
  • Personal (36)
  • philanthropy (35)
  • Policy and Advocacy (21)
  • Race, Equity, Diversity, Inclusion (119)
  • Random stuff (89)
  • self-care (26)
  • Special Events (25)
  • Staff Dynamics (30)
  • Uncategorized (40)
  • Unicorns (62)
  • US Culture (17)
  • volunteers (4)
  • Work-Life Balance (31)
  • Writing (1)
  • Zombies (14)

Archives

Tags

board board of directors capacity building collective impact communities of color community-centric fundraising community engagement cultural competency diversity donors equity feedback foundations funders funding funding dynamics fundraising game of thrones grantmaking grants grantwriting hiring hummus humor inclusion leadership nonprofit nonprofit funding nonprofit humor overhead oxford comma philanthropy power dynamics race restricted funding salary Seahawks self-care social justice special events sustainability taxes Thanksgiving unicorn unicorns

© Vu Le NWB Consulting
Design: SN