Hi everyone,
Thank you to all of you who participated in Unicorns Unite’s first-ever #NonprofitHaiku contest on Twitter. Apologies for being late in judging the winners. Here they are below. Co-authors Jessamyn Shams-Lau, Jane Leu, and I each picked our favorites. They varied a lot. I put those in a conference tote bag that has some weird sauce dried out at the bottom because I had been using it for grocery shopping. I pulled out five random haiku (which is also the plural), and they are the winners below; we’ll send a copy of our book, along with a bar of chocolate. Below are also some honorable mentions. Please do not be discouraged if you did not win or get mentioned. It was a random and arbitrary process. You are still a beautiful unicorn with the soul of a poet and worthy of love, respect, and chocolate.
Apologies for the formatting of this post (Thanks a lot, WordPress!). By the way, there are a lot of misconceptions about the haiku, including the myth that it must strictly be 5-7-5 in syllables. Read more here.
WINNERS (in no particular order):This haiku, by Amanda Paveglio @AmandaPav1, captures the angsts of writing grant proposals, and the ingenuity of our sector:
Org’s mission doesn’t
Fit in fifty characters
Myb rmv vwls?
This one, by Jess Solomazing @jesssolomon, illustrates the level of intellectualization that happens among funders:
Harriet Tubman’s
“Project” would not be funded
No proof of concept
This gem, by Jennifer Iacovelli @anotherjenb, vividly crystalizes the dreaded terrible in-kind donation
Cole slaw donation
Left in a bucket outside
With soggy bread too
This one, by Chuck Brown @brookheart, may enrage some, but good poetry should spark emotions
Donor-advised fund
The gift that keeps on giving
Just not to your org
And lest you think everyone in our sector is cynical, here’s a beautiful haiku from Charlford House @CharlfordHouse, with this moving note “This one is from my heart, it’s my personal story and about as honest as I can get in 17 syllables”
I was a hot mess
I recovered at Charlford
Not a hot mess now
HONORABLE MENTIONS (haiku we loved but that were not randomly chosen as winners)
Spring is upon us
From giving to nonprofits
communities bloom
JohnaRodgers @JohnaRodgersGPC
The Oxford Comma
A writer’s choice no longer
When I’m president
Funder requests docs!
Drop all else, do all-nighter.
Oh, never mind. Thanks.
Imagine missions
Applied to employees too
That is Equity
“Program management”
Can you develop
metrics, objectives for last
year’s program today?
Explain how you will
transform lives, but remember…
we will not fund staff
Hawaii Pacific Parks @HIPacParks
One year we funded
a bag of rice and a pig.
Nat. parks needs vary.
Mission-drifting grant,
executive director
says we must apply.
Unsure of mission,
she thinks we are a food bank,
we teach piano.
Your old socks with holes
Are helpful to none; come on!
They’re old socks with holes.
Want this major gift?
Easy. Just solve poverty.
Hmm no. Not like that.
Bonnie Schroeder @bonnieschroed13
Unicorns unite!
End nonprofit hunger games!
Share, don’t compete!
Food in the kitchen
From Board lunch; no sandwiches
But, there are brownies
Sun is shining bright
We fundraise for a van to
Drive us to the sights
Jacqui Patterson @JacquiPattA
Deliverables
Do they really matter, though?
Too often not. Sad!
Our supply cabinet:
Scavenged paperclips, conference
swag, maybe raccoons.
Systemic traps, y’all!
Can we “program” our freedom
My heart says no way.
Charity is good
But the root causes remain
Justice is better
The more good we do
The better the world becomes
So just do more good
Office morale down.
Destroyed with a single blow.
Who broke the printer.