Nonprofit AF

Exploring the fun and frustrations of nonprofit work

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Are you engaging in Toxic Niceness and perpetuating inequity? 7 questions to ask yourself

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[Image description: A fluffy puppy being embraced by a kitten. In the background is a white heart-shaped jigsaw puzzle with the word Love written on it in red. Image by adamtepl on Pixabay]

Hey everyone. If you are on LinkedIn, you may have seen posts by two of my favorite accounts: Crappy Funding Practices, which publicly names and calls out the malarkey and shenanigans of certain funders (while occasionally giving kudos to really awesome ones), and The Home for Wingless Unicorns, which publicly names the organizations that do not disclose salary on their job postings, because not disclosing salary perpetuates inequity.

Generally, the feedback to these groups has been positive and encouraging. But once in a while, there’s the predictable “Why are you being so mean to people? Why name and shame?! You’d get your message across so much better if you just offer chamomile tea to people and speak to them in a calm soothing voice while swaddling them up like a baby!”

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Stressed about funding? Here’s a “Supportive Funder ASMR” video!

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A while ago, I learned about ASMR, which stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. You can read about it in the link above, but basically it’s audio and videos designed to give you positive, tingly feelings. There are videos where people pretend to shampoo your hair; others where they’re eating various foods and you can hear the crunching sounds their mouths make. Very interesting stuff, look it up.

Anyway, we need more positive, tingly feelings. Nonprofit work can be so stressful, especially when it comes to funding and fundraising. Luckily, we have amazing program officers who are supportive and encouraging. However, not everyone is fortunate to have those program officers in their lives, or if they do, those funders aren’t always available. So I made an ASMR video featuring a supportive funder. Listen to it when you’re stressed out about funding. For best effect, listen to it on a loop while wearing head phones and eating some dark chocolate in a supply closet.

[Also, I’m new to embedding videos on this blog. Let me know if there are any glitches like you can access them on your phone or something]

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I’m back! Nonprofit OnlyFans, a book deal, and other news!

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[Image description: A happy, adorable corgi dog, wedged in a tree trunk, looking down at the viewer. The tree has yellow leaves, suggesting Autumn. Image by huoadg5888 on Pixabay]

Hi everyone, I’m back from my break. I’ve missed you all, and I’ve missed ranting and shaking my fist about various things each week. Also, I need to get back to the grind, because my plan of starting a Nonprofit OnlyFans during the summer did not work out. Apparently, only three people wanted to pay $6 a month to hear me read grant award letters while dressed in button-down shirts from Ross Dress for Less: “‘Dear Unicycles for Tots, congratulations, the review panel has decided to provide your organization a three-year unrestricted grant of $50,000 per year. Thank you for your work.’ Mmm… yeah… unrestricted …oooh… multi-year…”

During the break, I had time to reflect, usually in my hammock while eating handfuls of Kirkland Signature semi-sweet chocolate chips, and I want to make some changes in my work and my personal life. Here are a few things that might affect this site:

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Courage and conviction

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[Image description: A tree with green leaves, standing by itself in a calm body of water, touching the water with a branch. It is surrounded by a snow-capped range of mountains in the background. Image by Robert Koorenny on Unsplash]

Hi everyone, this will be the last post for a while, as I’ll be taking July and August off from blogging and social media to focus on spending time with my family and possibly beginning writing a new book. I’ll be back on September 2nd with a new post. Funders, donors, boards, and others with positional power, please keep shenanigans to a minimum while I’m away.

Meanwhile, this week on Thursday June 27th at 10am Pacific Time, please join me and Common Future’s Co-CEO Jennifer Njuguna in a conversation where we discuss our sector’s propensity for fear and risk-aversion, especially in light of the pushback against DEI. It’s free, and auto-captions will be enabled. Register here.

As I enter this break, I just want to acknowledge that I am exhausted. I’ve never felt so tired and beaten down in my career. I know many of you can relate. We did not sign up for this work—the work of making the world better—thinking it would be easy. Many of us have been doing this for decades, and we’ve seen some horrendous things. But I don’t recall a time when things were this bad, when morale was this low, when the whole world is in crisis, and our efforts to stop the chaos and inequity and injustice feeling so futile.

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Husband-centered marriages, and the gender dynamics around fundraising

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[Image description: An open dishwasher, filled with clean white dishes and shiny silverware. Image by jhenning on Pixabay]

Hi everyone, if you’re free on June 27th at 10am Pacific Time, please join me and Common Future’s Co-CEO Jennifer Njuguna in a conversation where we discuss our sector’s propensity for fear and risk-aversion, especially in light the pushback against DEI, and what we need to do about it. It’s free, and auto-captions will be enabled. Register here.

A few months ago, I posted a short video on Instagram that talked about our conditioning to be excessively thankful to donors, comparing it to a ridiculous concept I made up called “Husband-Centered Marriage” where every time a husband does the dishes or something that contributes to the family, he gets a handwritten thank-you note: “You did it! Because you loaded the dishwasher, our family is stronger. Our community is better because of you!”

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