Hi everyone, I just got back from a whirlwind summer in Japan and Vietnam, where I—and I didn’t think this would happen again for me—fell in love. With not having to work. Long walks on the beach—without answering emails. Deep conversations late into the night—but not about cashflow issues and revenues projections. It was magical; I felt young and alive again.
And now it’s over, and it’s back to the grind. But I’ve never felt so unmotivated before. I don’t want to do anything except snuggle with my kids while watching K-Pop Demon Hunters. Speaking to friends and colleagues, I find everyone seems to be having similar feelings, a sense of being overwhelmed combined with a creeping apathy and general…blah-ness. Ennui.
And who can blame anyone. Everything seems to be awful and there’s no end in sight. It’s depressing. By that, I mean, like most of us are probably depressed. I’ve been feeling like crap. And the stress has been causing me to have bags under my eyes and break out into acne, so I also look like crap! (Thank goodness my multiplying wrinkles and pallid complexion have been providing distraction).
If you’re feeling—and looking—the same way, you’re not alone, ok? Here are some tips below to help keep you/us motivated. Because I don’t feel like working at all, the quality of this post is uncertain, and I can’t vouch for the validity of any of these tips, so take it with a swig of Pepto:
Remind yourself it’s normal right now to feel terrible: A friend said something that stuck with me. With all the horrific things happening—genocide, fascism, environmental destruction—it would be abnormal to NOT be at least a little depressed. If you’re feeling bad, it means you care. And the more you care, the worse you feel. And look.
Lower your standards and expectations: I used to try to walk 10,000 steps a day. That was very frustrating, because I often couldn’t accomplish it, usually failing by 7,000 steps on average. So, I lowered it to 2,000 steps a day. And voila! That instantaneously made it better. I usually achieve that goal. Sometimes twice, which means I don’t have to get off the couch the next day at all!
Lean into joy: When the world seems to be falling apart, it can seem selfish or irresponsible to enjoy stuff. But joy is not frivolous—it’s fuel we need to continue fighting for a better world. Watch a funny show. Bake cookies. Befriend some raccoons and train them to fingerpaint. Remember that fascists hate joy and humor, and doing stuff fascists hate is always a good use of our time.
Start with one small thing: When we’re overwhelmed, huge tasks can seem very daunting. Pick one a small action that is easy to do and do it. Reply to one email. Call one donor. Put one dirty coffee cup in the sink. Build rapport with one raccoon. Sometimes that’s enough to build momentum. Other times, it’s not. But at least you tried, and trying is half the battle.
Prioritize a few important things: Instead of looking at the zillion things on your to-do list and forcing yourself to slog through them and feeling overwhelmed and then ending up doing nothing, identify the two or three things that are important. There you go. You identified them. That’s a huge success. You can tackle them later. Go celebrate by taking a nap.
Do some body-doubling: This is when you and a friend or group of friends get together to do independent work. It can be in-person or virtually. Start with a check-in but set a time limit. Tell one another about your goals for the work session. Ignore those goals. Work together to build a time machine. Go back in time and prevent Elon Musk’s parents from falling in love.
Reframe “laziness”: As I wrote earlier, we need to rethink the entire concept of lazy. It’s not “lazy” to rest and recharge. It’s not “lazy” to hang out with your friends. It’s not “lazy” to lie on the couch, staring at the ceiling, and once a while screaming “All you programmers of this simulation suck! Dystopia is so overdone! Why don’t you give us something original, like peace and justice, you cowards!”
Experiment with new coping mechanisms: Maybe the things you’ve always relied on have not been as effective as usual, and it may be time to try some new stuff. For example, I’ve been watching revenge movies where bad people get their comeuppance. The Beekeeper, Becky, Becky 2: The Wrath of Becky, Sisu, Avarice, John Wick, and Nobody are my go-to’s. Send other recommendations.
Be in nature: Go for a nice long hike in the forest. Leave your phone behind. Walk backwards so nobody can trace you. Learn to forage for roots and berries. Befriend forest creatures for company. Stay in the forest a few years until things get better. Maybe come out once a while to stock up at Costco.
Give yourself some grace: Everything sucks right now, so it’s ok that you’re not at your best. You’re going to drop things, forget stuff, and your raccoons’ fingerpaint canvasses may not be all that interesting or commercially viable. Stop beating yourself up also about feeling bad, which makes you feel bad for feeling bad in addition to feeling bad. You know what I mean.
Lastly, allow yourself some hope: It seems impossible right now, but remember that along with all the horrors, people are still resisting, organizing, creating art, strengthening community, and fighting for a just and equitable world.
Add your tips below.
Overall, if you find yourself feeling crappy, tired, unmotivated, overwhelmed, unproductive, with a face that could scare small children, and wishing you were in a different timeline, you’re not broken. There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re in excellent company. These days, most of us are just trying to get through the day. But maybe that’s enough for now. Take care of yourself, lower your standards, take a nap, and then join the fight whenever you’re ready.
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A few announcements. I received a lot of feedback against switching to Substack, as it has been allowing horrible content. I’m looking into other platforms, or possibly just remaining here on WordPress and using an email list to ensure subscribers get notified of new posts.
Also, I’m getting into gear promoting this new book I have coming out. All proceeds from the sales of the book from now until end of 2026 will be donated to organizations supporting trans rights, immigrant rights, and/or are fighting fascism. Thank you to everyone who pre-ordered the book, which makes a huge difference in the rankings and algorithms and whatever. If your organization pre-orders 25 or more copies, let me know, and I’ll be happy to do a 50-minute video call with your team to discuss the book and whatever else is on your mind.
Meanwhile, if you’d like to join the Book Launch Team (BLT), a group of volunteers who will work with me to promote the book, please fill out this form. A virtual book launch event and an in-person one in Seattle will be taking place around mid-October, along with other events with various colleagues. Will keep everyone updated.
Apologies in advance; you will be inundated with book promotion the next few weeks.