Author: Vu

You can’t have “Generous and Sexy” without Gen X

Posted on by Vu

tape-1138088_960_720Hi everyone, before we launch into today’s topic, here’s a very important announcement on something that may affect the future of our entire sector: Double-spacing after periods is dead. Dead, I tell you! Here’s the Proclamation I wrote after receiving over 500 comments on the subject. Please print it out and post it in your bathroom or another high-traffic place.

I wrote a few weeks ago, in 15 lessons for the nonprofit sector we learned in 2015, “Let’s stop stereotyping generations and instead treat people like the uniquely beautiful, or crappy, snowflakes that they are.” Since then, however, I’ve encountered even MORE articles on Millennials: “How to Get Millennial Donors to Give,” “How to Manage Millennials,” “How to Manage Yourself When a Millennial is Managing You,” “Studies Show Productivity Increase When Millennials Fed Sriracha-Flavored Craft Beer After Hot Yoga,” etc.

Depending on the definition, I am either Gen X or Millennial, but I’ve been an Executive Director long enough that I’ve aged twice as fast the last few years, placing me squarely into Gen X territory. However, I don’t care what generation you belong to as long as you do stuff and do it well and do it on time and you are pleasant, so I’m sick of all this handwringing about Millennials, and, to an almost equal degree, Boomers. But since the articles and books and documentaries and puppet shows about the generations are not going to go away any time soon, we as a field might as well bring some balance, and pay a little more attention to the Gen Xers. Here are some facts from Nonprofit Tech for Good and MarketWatch that all nonprofits need to be aware of: Continue reading “You can’t have “Generous and Sexy” without Gen X”

The myth of double-dipping, and the destructiveness of restricted funding

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salsa-840249_960_720I’ve written before about double-dipping being one of the worst accusations you can leverage against a nonprofit. It makes for an effective insult: “Your ED is so dumb, he went on eHarmony hoping to meet a logic model.” “Oh yeah? Well your org is so unethical, it reported that one funder paid for some food for a community gathering, but then also told another funder that they paid for the same food!” (#nonprofitinsults, in case you’re bored and want to start a new trend on Twitter)

I don’t want to keep harping on this subject, but it deserves to be harped on from time to time. Last week, I had a meeting with my team to talk about our finances. Specifically, we are spinning off into our own 501c3, and some of our funders want information on how the money they gave us has been spent before we transition. For the next hour, we dove into it, and I want to capture the gist of the conversation here, mainly because I think it will make an excellent scene when I begin working on “Nonprofit: The Musical” in earnest. Continue reading “The myth of double-dipping, and the destructiveness of restricted funding”

Win a year’s supply of hummus through NWB’s poetry contest!

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To see the immense hole in the budget, immenser without youblue-259458_960_720
And the outcomes fall to the page like hummus to a plate.

What does it matter that we are an existing program?
The night is cold, and strong is the illusion of sustainability. 

In the distance, a program director weeps. In the distance.

—I Can Write the Saddest Grant Proposal Tonight

Happy Lunar New Year, everyone. I am proud to announce the first-ever Nonprofit With Balls Nonprofit Poetry Contest. Write a few verses and stanzas, and you too could win big bucks. Even better, the grand prize winner will be bestowed the title “Nonprofit Poet Laureate of the Milky Way Galaxy.” You probably have some questions, so I am going to try to answer them here:

Question: Why the heck are you doing this?
Answer: April, coming up, is National Poetry month, and the world aches for more poems about the nonprofit sector. There is so much beauty and complexity in our work. It is time we crystalize into stanzas the grandeur of the nonprofit world.

Question: What are the prizes?
Answer: Grand Prize, $750, and the title of Nonprofit Poet Laureate of the Milky Way Galaxy. Second Place, $500. Third Place, $250. All winners’ poems will be published on nonprofitwithballs.com. Honorary winners will also be chosen, but sorry, no cash. Continue reading “Win a year’s supply of hummus through NWB’s poetry contest!”

Common nonprofit terms and concepts and what they actually mean

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giraffes-627031_960_720Hi everyone, a colleague asked me to write a translation of nonprofit terminologies and concepts, which may be helpful to those who are thinking of going into nonprofit work. Since I was pressed for time this week (look, Narcos is not going to binge-watch itself on Netflix), I outsourced the task to the NWB Facebook Community, which is full of brilliant and hilarious people who don’t take themselves too seriously. Here are several of the suggestions, mainly copied verbatim. (Go to the Facebook page for the whole list). This is by no means comprehensive, so please add your own in the comment section:

Hiring

Salary commensurate with experience: We’re ashamed to actually say what it is, but it’s probably nowhere near commensurate with your experience level

Comprehensive benefits: You can take home leftover crackers AND half-drunk bottles of wine after donor receptions.

Welcomes diversity/seeks diverse leadership: You will be the first and/or only person of color on our board/staff/whatever

A dynamic work environment: We are really disorganized

Able to prioritize: You’ll have to decide whether it’s riskier to delay payment on the electric bill or the water bill

There were so many duties we decided to split the job: Your predecessor still works here, but is angry she was demoted, and won’t train you

We are embarking on a new phase: Everything else we’ve tried has been an epic failure, and you will now save us.

A fast-paced environment: We are overwhelmed, overworked and afflicted with this curse called a ‘vocation’, and the Board just keep piling it on.

Looking for someone passionate about the field: Applicants should be willing to accept being paid peanuts

Lots of opportunity: It literally could not get any worse. Continue reading “Common nonprofit terms and concepts and what they actually mean”

10 classic movies that could have been about nonprofit work

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humphrey-bogart-619157_960_720Despite the awesomeness and complexity of our work, and the fact that we employ 10% of the work force, and the fact that independent studies that I have commissioned found that we have the most attractive professionals among all the sectors, nonprofit is still neglected by the media and society at large. I’ve written about the need for more TV shows about our sector. And now, we need to push for more movies. Imagine how much more awesome some of our classic movies would have been, if they had been about nonprofit. Here are some of my ideas, along with potential quotes. #nonprofitmovielines. Go make that trend on Twitter, like you did with #nonprofitpickuplines.

A Few Good Donors: An up-and-coming Development Director tries to convince her ED to change their org’s fundraising strategies, in the process encountering resistance and a complex conspiracy involving budgets, CRMs, the board, and strategic planning. “You want answers? You want the truth?! An effective donor cultivation strategy takes time and resources!”

The Shawshank Restriction: Andy, a new Program Director learns too late that the organization that just hired him had gotten trapped by a burdensome and restrictive multi-year federal grant. The terrifying realities of restricted funding are explored as Andy works to save the remainder of his program and his sanity, using his skills and intelligence to gain the trust of his jaded colleagues and extract the program and organization out of the dilemma. “Get busy doing work, or get busy doing paperwork.” Continue reading “10 classic movies that could have been about nonprofit work”