[Image description: A street packed with protestors holding signs. One says “Capitalism kills our future” and another sign says “It IS an emergency.” Image by LeoSch on Pixabay]
About 15 years ago, I was invited to speak on a panel at a conference run by a large, well-funded national organization whose mission was to represent the entire nonprofit sector. The entry fee for this 3-day conference was $2200, which my org with a budget of $500K couldn’t afford. The panel organizer asked me to apply for a scholarship, which I did, but it wasn’t successful. “Sorry,” I said, “I can’t speak on the panel because my scholarship application got rejected.” She was able to convince the organization to let me in.
Those were three surreal days. I felt like an unwashed peasant who had sneaked into the royal ball. But that dissonance tapered off, and I was disappointed at how a space full of the most powerful nonprofit organizations and leaders were focused on some of the most banal topics possible (“Legal compliance for foundations” “How to lower overhead costs” “The art of keeping donors happy” “Signs someone from a small organization has crashed your conference”). I stuffed my tote bag with as many free swag items and snacks as I could get, consolation prizes for the disillusionment I felt at our sector’s leadership.
[Image description: An empty stage in the darkness with multiple spotlights shining down. Several grids, looking kind of like windows, hang from the ceiling. Image from Pixabay]
Hi everyone, I have been keeping quiet about this exciting project I’ve been working on for the past two years, but I’m happy to report it’s finally ready for the limelight! As some of you know, I have a background in theater. Well, OK, I took Drama as an elective in high school, and I have been pulled up on stage at least once during an improv show. This is enough for me to realize I love acting and performing.
So for the past couple of years, I’ve been developing a one-man show and testing it out with small focus groups (usually my friends and family members who couldn’t think of excuses fast enough to get out of it).
And now, with generous sponsorship from the Satterberg Foundation, Minnesota Council of Nonprofits (MCN), and my Patreon community, it’s ready to hit the road this June on a nine-city tour (Seattle, Portland Oregon, Denver, Austin, Atlanta, Minneapolis, Asheville, New York, and Toronto).
The four-hour show (with intermission) is called “Please Send Money: A Joyful Yet Soul-Crushing Journey Through Nonprofit and Philanthropy.”
[Image description: A happy-looking fluffy, kind of light pink poodle. Image by petfoto on Pixabay]
Hi everyone, happy Spring in the Northern Hemisphere. This post may be short and incoherent, because I’m supposed to be wrapping up the manuscript of my book and sending it to my editor at Wiley. Due to the collapse of democracy and the rise of fascism, it must be changed a bit, including the title, which right now stands at “Burn It All Down and Rise from the Ashes: A Guide for Transforming the Nonprofit and Philanthropy Sector into a Badass Phoenix of Equity and Justice!” But I’m sure the publisher will demand a more boring and “marketable” title.
A few weeks ago, as the federal government launched the first phase of its war on DEI and on the nonprofit sector, I was on LinkedIn perusing the comments while eating a container of Ben and Jerry’s “Cherry Garcia” non-dairy ice cream, when one of those annoying AI questions popped up, where apparently, I was one of the experts invited to answer a question. The question was “You’re seeking to engage new major donors. How can you tailor your fundraising strategy to their preferences?”
72 answers were given by various fundraising experts, most of them advising nonprofits to cater to donors by doing things like:
“personalize outreach with stories and opportunities to align with their passions,”
“research their philanthropic interests and past giving patterns” so you can adjust your interactions, and
“invite them to private events or behind-the-scenes tours to show how your cause aligns with their values.”
Only one person pushed back against the idea that nonprofits should “tailor” their strategies for donors or funders.
[Image description: A house built from a hill, with a round door, covered in plants, including a tree growing out of it. There’s a sign on the fence that says “No admittance except on party business.” This is a scene from Hobbiton, a set built for the Lord of the Rings movies. Image by Thandy Yung on Unsplash]
Hey everyone, hope you’re hanging in there. I’ve been watching my favorite movies as a break from the horrors of the real world. Some are very inspiring. Lord of the Rings, for example, has lots of parallels to our world, including an all-consuming evil and band of heroes trying to save the world. Which, of course, makes me think about what if LOTR were set in our sector. Below is the sample script. Let me know what you think.
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SCENE 1: RIVENDELL
GANDALF: Despite our best efforts, Sauron has awoken. We have never faced such a threat. As we speak, his forces of foul orcs and Uruk-hai march across all of Middle Earth, laying waste to the land, bringing terror and destruction, especially to the most vulnerable.
ELROND: We must form a fellowship and journey to cast this Ring of Capitalism into Mt. Doom while the rest prepare for war. That’s the only way to defeat Sauron and his evil.
BOROMIR: One does not simply end capitalism. Even with the finest warriors in the land, the odds do not favor us.
FRODO: Still, we cannot stand still and watch the people we care about get slaughtered. You have my organizing skills.
ARAGORN: And you have my advocacy expertise.
LEGOLAS: You have my grantwriting skills.
GIMLI: And you have my logic model.
ELROND: Excellent. Then let us—
SAM: What about you, Mister Elrond sir? You have all the gold and mithril. Will you contribute them to the fight?
ELROND: We have been giving out 5% of our gold every year for you all to fight evil. If we give out more to fight Sauron, we will deplete our cache and then what happens when Sauron is defeated, where’s the funding to rebuild?
SAM: But Mister Elrond, we won’t be able to defeat Sauron if we don’t have enough resources. He’s burning everything to the ground. There won’t be anything to rebuild!
LEGOLAS: He does have a point…Maybe we should increase the gold we give out, from 5% each year to—
ELROND (raises up one hand): We elves do not meddle in the affairs of the lesser beings of Middle Earth. We watch from a distance, giving out 5% of our riches, and then we go to the West to the Undying Lands, the Land of Perpetuity, where as usual none of this really affects us.
[Image description: A house or barn completely engulfed in flames at night. Image by Stephen Radford on Unsplash]
Hi everyone, this week is my birthday, when I’m officially a year older. But joke’s on the universe, since I’ve always looked ten years older than my biological age! If you’d like to help me celebrate, please donate $44 (or whatever you can afford) to nonprofits serving transgender people and advancing trans rights, such as the Trans Continental Pipe and the Marsha P. Johnson Institute.
Also, at the advice of our colleague Thaddeus Squire in his article “Four Ways the Nonprofit Sector Can Tell the Trump Administration to F**k Off,” I’m forming a religion, Vuism, to fight injustice, since religious organizations have almost zero oversight in this country and can take tax-deductible donations. Part of Vuism is the observance of Vumas on March 12, which requires all nonprofit professionals take the day off, eat hummus, and use the Oxford Comma to send one another good wishes.
***
Over the past few days, you may have noticed the uptick in conversations regarding foundations’ increasing their payout rate during this sharknado shitstorm of fascism, cruelty, and ignorance (Marked by things like people protesting and destroying posters at a neuroscience conference in Orlando because scientists were talking about “diversity of efferent firing in the cochlea” and these MAGAts’ hate-infused brains thought it was about DEI and started foaming at the mouth).
