Imagine if Apple had to run like a nonprofit

We nonprofits deal with unique challenges that our for-profit colleagues never have to think about. If you ever sat in the dark for hours listening to REM and eating Otter Pops and wondering what it would like for a large for-profit like Apple to have to run like a nonprofit, wonder no more! I’ve done it for you this week! (What, like your vacation is so much more interesting). And I asked NAF’s web designer and artist, Stacy Nguyen, to draw up some comics.

At the retail store

Customer: Hi, I’d like to buy this latest iPhone. How much is it?

Apple employee: $700 dollars.

Customer: Here you go. But I want most of this money to be spent on direct costs. No more than $70 should be going to indirect costs like rent, insurance, etc. I also don’t want any of this $700 to go toward advertisement or staff salaries.

Apple employee: We’ll designate these restrictions in our systems.

Customer: At the end of the year, I’d like a report on what you spent this money on.

Apple employee: We provide quarterly financial reports, and would be glad—

Customer: No no no. I don’t want the financial reports on your entire company. I only want a report on what my $700 specifically was spent on. Only my $700.

Apple employee: OK…Would you like to be added to our e-newsletter list? Continue reading “Imagine if Apple had to run like a nonprofit”

Disorganized colleagues, stop feeling bad and own your chaotic brilliance!

[Image description: Two wombats eating from a metal bowl. There’s a large wombat, and a cute little baby wombat. The’re both dark brown. The bowl has vegetables–looks like corn and carrots and half a green apple. Image obtained from Pixabay.com]

Hi everyone. As usual I procrastinated in writing this blog post—look, House of Cards season five is not going to binge-watch itself while eating an entire container of vegan chocolate ice cream. I don’t know how this blog post will turn out or whether it will include pictures of wombats for some reason. (Update: It definitely includes a picture of wombats).

Since the beginning of time society has had a bias toward the Type-A individuals, they with their to-do lists, and their “bullet journals,” and their “inbox zero,” and their “daily flossing.” We tend to look down upon the disorganized, equating cleanliness with godliness, and having other sayings related to being neat and orderly. These messages have been pushed so hard that those who are disorganized in their work and personal lives are left feeling like crap. Continue reading “Disorganized colleagues, stop feeling bad and own your chaotic brilliance!”

Nonprofit With Balls is now…Nonprofit AF!

[Image description: Two adorable fluffy puppies in a field of green grass. They are tan and white and standing touching each other. The one in the front has dark ears and dark frames around its eyes. Both are soooo cute! Image obtained from Pixabay.com]
Hi everyone. Over the past several months, I’ve been thinking of new names for this blog. It’s been an agonizing process, very similar to naming a baby. Everyone hated every potential name I came up with, for various reasons: “That’s insensitive,” “That’s boring,” “You’re infringing on copyright laws and Bono might sue you,” etc.

So I am happy to announce that Nonprofit With Balls is now Nonprofit AF. We are Nonprofit AF. What does AF stand for? Amplified and Focused? Awesome and on Fire? Amazing and Fluffy? Sure. Continue reading “Nonprofit With Balls is now…Nonprofit AF!”

What’s your nonprofit unicorn name/title? Find out here

[Image description: A painting of three unicorns prancing in water. The unicorns are all white with spiral horns. All of them are facing our left, mostly in three-quarter profile. The sky and water are dark blue with splashes of white. Image obtained from Pixabay.com]
Hi everyone, I was writing a post about how we nonprofits can be more environmentally friendly. But yesterday was National Unicorn Day, so colleagues emailed me unicorn pictures and name generators. One of these generators has me as “Dandelion Pretty Pony” and has this description: “Dandelion is a little bit crazy. He is as pretty as a picture, and he brings the sunshine and chases away clouds.” Does that sound like me at all? Does that sound like any of us?! Not to mention it is insensitive to people with mental illness. 

Like all of you, I’ve been kept awake by the sad and disrespectful state of unicorn name generators. So instead of finishing the post on being green—it’ll be published next Monday—I created a unicorn name chart specifically for us nonprofit (including foundation) unicorns. Find out what your #nonprofitunicornname and title are, and write them in the comment section. Don’t forget your nonprofit’s unicorn name, based on your org’s acronym. Share this post with your friends and colleagues. 

Here’s a PDF file you can print (or not print) for your next board meeting, staff meeting, or volunteer orientation. 

You’re welcome!

Continue reading “What’s your nonprofit unicorn name/title? Find out here”

A guided meditation for nonprofit professionals

[Image description: A stone bench on a beach overlooking the ocean. The bench is facing our left. It has two supporting beams and looks worn, with the paint uneven patches of white and grey/tan. The bench is casting a shadow, so it appears to be noon. There is a large boulder a few feet in front of the bench. The ocean is blue, under a clear sky that is slightly lighter blue. The beach has tufts of uneven green grass.]

Update: Here’s my friend Oz‘s recording of the entire meditation in his soothing voice. Give it a listen.

Hi everyone, it seems that many of us are stressed out. This includes me. I’ve been trying to find a guided meditation program that I like, but they haven’t really responded to the unique challenges we in this sector face. So here’s a guided #nonprofitmeditation to help you all relax:

Find a comfortable position, whether sitting on your favorite donated chair, lying down on a cushy donated sofa, or huddled up in the fetal position beside a milk crate filled with 300 copies of your gala program booklets that you refused to recycle for some reason. Continue reading “A guided meditation for nonprofit professionals”