Are you or your nonprofit or foundation being an askhole?

askholeGo Hawks, everyone. Last week, I wrote about Trickle-Down Community Engagement (TDCE), a frustrating phenomenon that each year causes many of us EDs of grassroot organizations to daydream about abandoning civilization to live with adorable woodland critters, foraging for grubs and berries, which would actually feel very much like nonprofit fundraising, but at least would be cuter and more whimsical. (Note to self: Stop writing blog after watching Disney movies with toddler). Today, I want to touch base on a related topic: Askhole Community Engagement (ACE). TDCE and ACE are connected, like two peas in a dysfunctional pod.

So what’s an askhole? Here are some Urban Dictionary definitions. Basically, you know that one friend who keeps coming crying to you about something, asks you for advice, and so you hit pause on Netflix, listen to them attentively, empathize, and give them reasonable suggestions, and then later you find out that they completely ignored you or did the opposite of what you recommended? That’s an askhole. Or someone who keeps asking for advice until they get an answer they agree with. That’s also an askhole.
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Ten resolutions for the nonprofit sector for 2015

australia-699228_640pdEvery New Year, many of us make resolutions to do things to improve ourselves. Of course, many of us skip doing this, because we are perfect. In fact, in some cultures, beer bellies and love handles are considered attractive, so if people have issues with them, then they’re obviously culturally incompetent and should attend a workshop.

As 2015 starts, it is important for us not to just make resolutions for ourselves, but also for our organizations, and for our field. We, as individuals and as a sector, are constantly busy doing stuff that we often don’t take enough time to gaze into the distance and think strategically. As I write this, I recall some profound words from one of my mentors when we were having lunch a while ago: “I always choose the curried chicken.” Wait, no, that’s not it. She said, “Are you spending enough time on the balcony versus the dance floor?” We are always dancing. We nonprofit professionals need to get on the balcony more often.

So let’s start 2015 off right and make it the most awesome year ever! With the help of the NWB Facebook community, I’m recapping a list of resolutions that I am hoping all of us will seriously adopt sector-wide: Continue reading “Ten resolutions for the nonprofit sector for 2015”

Unicorns, time for our sector to take a break!

sleeping_unicorn_by_maleiva-d66gt3zMy fellow nonprofit professionals, I hope you are reading this from home, because I am calling for our sector to take a long and much needed break. If you are at the office, I want you to put down your pen, save your files, turn off your computer, and take a deep breath. Listen to me: You need to rest this week, and next week, and maybe even longer.

Our sector is an incredible one. It is full of smart, thoughtful, talented, and ridiculously good-looking and nice-smelling people. You are one of these people, you sexy unicorn you. Your brilliance is only surpassed by your dedication to your work and your passion for making the world better. I could not be prouder to work in such a kickass field alongside such kickass colleagues.

Now, 2014 is almost done. Stop whatever you are doing at this moment and make a list of stuff you’ve accomplished this year, because chances are you have been so busy working and freaking out about budgets and reports and crap that you haven’t noticed all the sweet and amazing things you made happen. Yup, because of you lives are better, communities are stronger, the world’s supply of happiness has increased, and we are getting steadily closer to equity and social justice. Give yourself a pat on the back. You are awesome. Continue reading “Unicorns, time for our sector to take a break!”

A nonprofit unicorn’s letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

Some people say that you don’t exist. But I know you do, just like I know that equity and social justice and free food after board meetings exist. I am a nonprofit professional. I get to spend my time making the world better and writing reports. I love my job, but it can be tough. This year, for Christmas, I made a list of things I would like from you, if you think I’ve been nice and not naughty. I know you’re very busy, Santa, with so many people asking stuff from you—you’re technically a nonprofit too!—but even a few of these things below will help me out a lot and will make my work easier.

Things I would love for Christmas:

This sweet carpal tunnel brace! A lot of my work involves writing emails, grants, reports, and emails. This brace would be extremely helpful. If you could spare it, please get the family-size box of carpal tunnel braces so everyone on my team could have one too.

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Can we all just admit there is no such thing as nonprofit sustainability?

fish-959636_640pdA few weeks ago I called up a program officer of a foundation to discuss my organization’s amazing idea to bring more immigrant and refugee leaders into the nonprofit field. “That’s a great idea,” said the program officer, “but what’s your sustainability plan? We don’t tend to support projects unless we know they will be financially independent in the future.”

“Well,” I said, “I have a great plan for that. Have you heard of teeth tattoo? No? You will! Dental adornment is going to be the latest thing, believe you me. Think about it: the Seahawks logo on your incisors! We will open a teeth tattoo parlor, and it will generate literally billions of dollars, enough to fund the project forever. But we need seed money. So how about 50K from you all?”

All right, I didn’t say that. I waffled something that sounded intelligent—“We are building up our base of individual donors, establishing relationships with local businesses, and using the Synergistic Paradigm Action Matrix in order to find the nexus between our strategies and adaptive advantage”—like a good grantseeker is trained to do.  We talked some more. Then I hung up and unwrapped a bar of dark chocolate and ate it, both me and the chocolate 72% bitter.

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