Nonprofit AF

Exploring the fun and frustrations of nonprofit work

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Humor

Script for The Matrix, if it were set in nonprofit and philanthropy

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[Image description: A hand, pointing straight at the camera, while concentric circles of ones and zeroes in green text, as well as a curtain of green codes, appear in the foreground and background. Image by geralt on Pixabay]

Welcome back to work, everyone. I hope your holiday break was restful. I was able to hang out with my kids, and when they were asleep, binge-watched all the episodes of Shogun; it was glorious! But now we’re back to the grind, and it is cold and miserable. Sometimes, I think the people who believe we exist in a computer simulation may be on to something, and I find myself looking around, trying to break the fourth wall, hoping whoever is running this simulation would just give us all a reprieve from all this. Maybe they could simulate a world where the forces of good win for once.

Anyway, I’m reminded of the movie The Matrix, where the main character, played by Keanu Reeves, realizes he’s been living in a simulation, trapped along with other humans by sentient machines that are using humans as batteries while creating a fake reality to subdue them and keep them from rebelling. Of course, that makes me think about our sector, and what it would be like if The Matrix were set in nonprofit and philanthropy:

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“What the skibbidi Ohio sigma rizz?!” Gen Alpha slang explained for nonprofit professionals

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[Image description: A cute brown baby goat, staring directly at the camera. This goat is the GOAT, no cap. Image by NoName_13 on Pixabay]

Hi everyone, this will be the last blog post before the holiday break. I’ll be back on January 7th. I hope you’re taking some time to rest and recharge and make happy memories with friends and family.

Having two kids who are Gen Alpha (those born 2010 and on) means I have to deal with their sassy remarks all the time. Like when I told the 11-year-old about my prized Casio calculator watch—the height of watch technology back in those days, hundreds of moons ago—and he said “I’m surprised you didn’t just wrap a leaf around your wrist and glue on an acorn!” 

Over the past year, their sassiness started including wacky slang I had never heard before. “Skibbidi Ohio rizz” one would shout, and the other would reply with “gyat,” laughing. When I asked the 11-year-old to explain all this stuff to me, the 8-year-old interrupted with, “Don’t tell Daddy! He’s cringe! If he uses our language, it will plunge us all into chaos!” 

Ha! These little dudes don’t know their father is a master of something called “googling.” 

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9 Tips for Dealing with Election-Related Stress and Anxiety

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[Image description: A black and white cat with big piercing blue eyes. Image by FelixMittermeier on Pixabay]

Hi everyone. If you’re like me, you’re probably going to be anxious all day due to the Elections. I’ve cast my vote for Harris/Walz. Over the past few weeks I also sent out dozens of postcards to people in swing states. I know many of you have been on the forefront, calling people, knocking on doors, and trying to convince wayward friends and relatives. 

Still, it is stressful. We’ve been on edge for a decade now. I remember 2016 and the horrific years that followed. Most of us are more traumatized than we care to admit. So, here’s some advice I’m providing, mainly as a reminder for myself. According to my therapist, I often use humor when I’m stressed, so keep that in mind: 

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Scary Nonprofit Stories for Halloween, 2024

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[Image description: A lit up jack-o-lantern with a wide grin stands at the end of a still lake. Behind it, and in the reflections in the water, stand several tall leafless trees, with orange sunlight streaming through them. Image by ELG21 on Pixabay]

Hi everyone, as Halloween is coming up, here are some stories guaranteed to give you shivers. As usual, they are not for the faint of heart, so don’t read them by yourself. Write your scary stories in the comment section.

BURIED

The nonprofit was small and scrappy. The staff prided themselves on being resourceful, so they always took whatever free stuff that was offered and hardly ever threw anything away. A pallet of math text books. 3,000 swag pens from another org that had shuttered. 200 infinity scarves.

One day, their event coordinator went missing, his phone left behind mysteriously at his cubicle. For days the community searched for him, with no signs of his whereabouts. Sometimes, though, the staff could swear they heard pounding or scratching coming from the walls.

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A bootcamp for clueless businesspeople who want to involve themselves in nonprofit!

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[Image description: About a dozen people, mostly adults, sitting around a roaring campfire in the dark, surrounded by the silhouettes of trees. One person is holding a guitar. A couple of people are holding books or notebooks. Image by Laura_O on Pixabay]

Hi everyone. Today, a colleague sent me this text: “There’s a CEO of a family foundation who is adamantly against giving unrestricted funding. Do you have a blog post in particular you think would be good for me to send him? He’s a middle-aged white man who has never worked for a nonprofit in his life.” I sent over a couple of posts, including The ethical argument for general operating funds and “How the focus on overhead disenfranchises communities of color and fans the flames of injustice.” There’s lots written on this topic.

Heck, there’s been tons of stuff written about all sorts of topics. But we continue to see colleagues from the for-profit sector come into this sector as donors, funders, volunteers, and board members and have no clue about how things are yet are still adamant they know what’s best for the nonprofits they’re supporting. Worse, like the clueless CEO dude above, they often hold a lot of power.

So, what we need may be fewer articles and webinars, and instead, a week-long immersive overnight boot camp designed to help prepare our friends from other sectors so they can viscerally understand what it’s like for nonprofit professionals. And luckily, because I procrastinated on working on my book today, I already planned out a sample schedule for this boot camp!

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