Nonprofit AF

Scary Nonprofit Stories for Halloween, 2024

Posted on October 28, 2024October 28, 2024 by Vu

[Image description: A lit up jack-o-lantern with a wide grin stands at the end of a still lake. Behind it, and in the reflections in the water, stand several tall leafless trees, with orange sunlight streaming through them. Image by ELG21 on Pixabay]

Hi everyone, as Halloween is coming up, here are some stories guaranteed to give you shivers. As usual, they are not for the faint of heart, so don’t read them by yourself. Write your scary stories in the comment section.

BURIED

The nonprofit was small and scrappy. The staff prided themselves on being resourceful, so they always took whatever free stuff that was offered and hardly ever threw anything away. A pallet of math text books. 3,000 swag pens from another org that had shuttered. 200 infinity scarves.

One day, their event coordinator went missing, his phone left behind mysteriously at his cubicle. For days the community searched for him, with no signs of his whereabouts. Sometimes, though, the staff could swear they heard pounding or scratching coming from the walls.

A bootcamp for clueless businesspeople who want to involve themselves in nonprofit!

Posted on October 7, 2024October 9, 2024 by Vu

[Image description: About a dozen people, mostly adults, sitting around a roaring campfire in the dark, surrounded by the silhouettes of trees. One person is holding a guitar. A couple of people are holding books or notebooks. Image by Laura_O on Pixabay]

Hi everyone. Today, a colleague sent me this text: “There’s a CEO of a family foundation who is adamantly against giving unrestricted funding. Do you have a blog post in particular you think would be good for me to send him? He’s a middle-aged white man who has never worked for a nonprofit in his life.” I sent over a couple of posts, including The ethical argument for general operating funds and “How the focus on overhead disenfranchises communities of color and fans the flames of injustice.” There’s lots written on this topic.

Heck, there’s been tons of stuff written about all sorts of topics. But we continue to see colleagues from the for-profit sector come into this sector as donors, funders, volunteers, and board members and have no clue about how things are yet are still adamant they know what’s best for the nonprofits they’re supporting. Worse, like the clueless CEO dude above, they often hold a lot of power.

So, what we need may be fewer articles and webinars, and instead, a week-long immersive overnight boot camp designed to help prepare our friends from other sectors so they can viscerally understand what it’s like for nonprofit professionals. And luckily, because I procrastinated on working on my book today, I already planned out a sample schedule for this boot camp!

Stressed about funding? Here’s a “Supportive Funder ASMR” video!

Posted on September 9, 2024September 9, 2024 by Vu

A while ago, I learned about ASMR, which stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. You can read about it in the link above, but basically it’s audio and videos designed to give you positive, tingly feelings. There are videos where people pretend to shampoo your hair; others where they’re eating various foods and you can hear the crunching sounds their mouths make. Very interesting stuff, look it up.

Anyway, we need more positive, tingly feelings. Nonprofit work can be so stressful, especially when it comes to funding and fundraising. Luckily, we have amazing program officers who are supportive and encouraging. However, not everyone is fortunate to have those program officers in their lives, or if they do, those funders aren’t always available. So I made an ASMR video featuring a supportive funder. Listen to it when you’re stressed out about funding. For best effect, listen to it on a loop while wearing head phones and eating some dark chocolate in a supply closet.

[Also, I’m new to embedding videos on this blog. Let me know if there are any glitches like you can access them on your phone or something] Continue reading

I’m back! Nonprofit OnlyFans, a book deal, and other news!

Posted on September 2, 2024September 2, 2024 by Vu

[Image description: A happy, adorable corgi dog, wedged in a tree trunk, looking down at the viewer. The tree has yellow leaves, suggesting Autumn. Image by huoadg5888 on Pixabay]

Hi everyone, I’m back from my break. I’ve missed you all, and I’ve missed ranting and shaking my fist about various things each week. Also, I need to get back to the grind, because my plan of starting a Nonprofit OnlyFans during the summer did not work out. Apparently, only three people wanted to pay $6 a month to hear me read grant award letters while dressed in button-down shirts from Ross Dress for Less: “‘Dear Unicycles for Tots, congratulations, the review panel has decided to provide your organization a three-year unrestricted grant of $50,000 per year. Thank you for your work.’ Mmm… yeah… unrestricted …oooh… multi-year…”

During the break, I had time to reflect, usually in my hammock while eating handfuls of Kirkland Signature semi-sweet chocolate chips, and I want to make some changes in my work and my personal life. Here are a few things that might affect this site:

7 New Rules of Workplace Professionalism: Post-Pandemic Edition

Posted on June 4, 2024 by Vu

[Image description: A cat, held by a human, facing an open laptop. Image by makieni777 on Pixabay]

Hi everyone, a couple of things before we get started: If you’re free on June 27^th at 10am Pacific Time, please join me and Common Future’s Co-CEO Jennifer Njuguna in a conversation where we discuss our sector’s propensity for fear and risk-aversion, especially in light the pushback against DEI, and what we need to do about it. It’s free, and auto-captions will be enabled. Register here.

Also, around the summer solstice, June 20^ththis year, is when folks in our sector host PEEP (Party to Enhance Equity in Philanthropy) events, where funders and nonprofit leaders can get together in casual, no-agenda settings just to chat and see one another as human beings. Let folks know in the comments if you’re planning to have one.

The past few years have been eventful, and by that, I mean brutal and horrifying. And I am surprised by how all of us continue to follow the same rules of professionalism we were used to following. A colleague, for example, wrote on LinkedIn about the importance of “writing handwritten thank-you notes after job interviews”!