Hi everyone, before we get into today’s topic, look, NWB merchandise is on sale! Get an “I Am A Nonprofit Unicorn” t-shirt, hoodie, mug, or other stuff. Big thanks to my talented webmaster/designer Stacy Nguyen. Other designs—such as the Nonprofit Unicorn Mantra, and nonprofit yoga poses—are coming later. (In case you are wondering, all proceeds from the sale of NWB stuff go directly to my childcare payments. Someone should have told me how ridiculously expensive children are).
All right, business pals, we need to have another talk. First of all, I love y’all. I just moved into a new house this week, and spent time at a hardware store trying to find these little thingies that hold up the shelves in my kitchen cabinets. They’re called “shelf pins,” and you can move them to different holes to lower or raise the shelves. Without some business somewhere making these little pins, my liquor cabinet would not be able to fit my really tall bottles of vodka and it would just look awful. So yes, I am deeply appreciative for all the businesses out there doing all sorts of useful, interesting, and important stuff. I am glad you exist, and I am glad to pay money for the stuff you make and do. Especially vodka.
But dude, the condescension needs to stop. Recently, I’ve noticed it has been in the form of explaining to us simple nonprofit bumpkins just how much better off we’d be if we just acted more like businesses. Sometimes it is conscious, most times it is not, but always it is irritating. One time, I was showing a potential board member our Saturday morning program, which served 150 kids. It was his first visit, and he launched into a lecture about having a business plan. “We have a three-year strategic plan,” I said, and before I could elaborate, he interrupted to explain what a business plan was. He interrupted several times to explain various Important Business Concepts to me. Continue reading